Football In High Heels

Sports, entertainment and life with a side of snark.

The Bachelorette Recap For 5/13/19

It is the seasons premiere of The Bachelorette on ABC. Hannah Brown will start her journey to find love with thirty men vying for her heart.  

We open with her finding out she got the gig, traveling with Chris Harrison and her showing him her town and discussing her life. Awesome bit of trivia, according to Wikipedia, she and I have the same birthday, except, I’m quite a bit older. 

I like that she is so real and down to earth. I think she is going to be like Ashley and Trista. 

Demi and Katie from Colton’s season are with Hannah to help her get ready. 

Meet the men!

Ryan’s family has a goodbye party for him.

Then….we just get a bunch of dudes leaving?

Tyler is a contractor who loves to dance.

Peter is an airline pilot.

Mike is an Air Force veteran. I love how he says goodbye to his great grandma before leaving.

Joe is the box king.

Matt Donald has a farm…e-i-e-i-o. He is a CODA…child of deaf adults. 

Connor  J is a family guy with a career. 

Luke is a former player who found God and wants to be a better man.

Hannah gets ready for her big night and talks to Chris Harrison before meeting the guys. 

Limo entrances: 

Garrett is a golf pro from Birmingham. He wants to be her hole in one.

Mike is the Air Force veteran who thinks she is pretty.

Jed is a singer/songwriter. 

Tyler reminds me of Billy from Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion.

Dylan thinks she is authentic.

Connor S jumps a fence for her. 

Devin is a virgin….to this experience. 

John Paul Jones wants to be called John Paul Jones.

Brian gets nervous. 

Scott is excited. 

Matteo is also nervous.

Daron is happy to be there and goes the wrong way.

Tyler G has been dreaming of her and literally the girl of his dreams. He also looks like Lassiter from Psych. 

Thomas has been traveling for years.

Matthew calls her sparkly. 

Joe jumps out of a box.

Joey brings wine in a baby car seat.

Connor J speaks to her in French. 

Ryan rolls in yelling roll tide in Rollerblades.

Hunter has her help him tie his tie. 

Grant comes in eating a hot dog with mustard.

Jonathan gets down on one knee with pizza and asks for a pizza her heart. 

Kevin fumbles with footballs.

Luke P growls and says he is king of he jungle. 

Luke S says she has a calming presence.

Dustin is glad she remembers him from ATFR. 

Cam sings and wears his rose from the ATFR.

Matt Donald comes in on a trailer singing Old Matt Donald.

Chasen is a pilot and gives her a paper airplane. 

Peter is the other pilot and he gives her a pair of wings. He is in uniform,which she finds hot. (I agree,girlfriend!)

Chris reminds her it is time to mingle and decide who gets the first impression rose. She goes in and thanks everyone for being there, ending with a toast. 

The mingling begins and there is a lot of hugging, humble bragging and laughing. One guy even gives her a Bachelorette party….thankfully minus the fake penises. There is a junk in the trunk game….so there’s that, I guess?

She shares her first kiss as the Bachelorette with I believe Tyler G….whichever one looks like Lassiter.

Before the first impression rose can be given out, Demi and Katie return to spy on the guys. 

Hannah already has a thing for Jed. The girls think one of the guys has a girlfriend and go into Bachelorette FBI mode. They think interior design dude is the one who has the girlfriend. He seems to want to design a house with her.

Chris Harrison comes in and pulls Hannah aside to tell her one of the guys has a girlfriend at home. 

Scott is apparently the one with the girlfriend….the girls found out there were messages between him and another girl. Hannah comes in to confront him and he denies it. To be fair, unless she saw the messages herself, she has no reason to not believe him. also, this happens every single season. He finally admits he was dating someone up until Monday and tries to turn it around by saying she dated Colton.  She kicks him out.

Hannah tells the guys what happened and says if anyone else isn’t there for the right reasons,they can leave too. She takes a moment and one of the guys….I think Luke P….comforts her. 

She talks to more guys, there is more kissing and then she gives out the first impression rose…..to….Luke P.  They seal the deal with a kiss. 

Rose ceremony!

Luke P has a rose and I assume Cam has one because of the ATFR.

Roses Given To:

Mike (Air Force Dude)

Connor S (no clue)

Matthew (sparkle dude)

Connor J (French dude)

Jed (singer dude)

Dustin (not a clue)

Joey (wine in baby car seat)

Devin (no clue)

Peter (nope)

Dylan (the one in a white coat)

Matteo (Purple shirt)

Jonathan (pizza guy)

Tyler C (the one who looks like Billy from Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion)

Tyler G (the one who looks like Lassiter)

Daron (wrong way dude)

Luke S (the other Luke)

Garrett (first guy out of the limo)

Grant (not sure)

Kevin (football guy)

Final Rose:

John Paul Jones (known as John Paul Jones)

I wanted the Old Matt Donald guy to stay…he was my favorite. Box guy also went home. I guess we will see them on Paradise. Chasen is happy for her and despite his tears is a class act.  

Did Cam get to stay?  I didn’t see him leave and didn’t hear his name called? 

More next week. Stay tuned!

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