Football In High Heels

Sports, entertainment and life with a side of snark.

The Bachelorette Recap for 5/27/19

This is the third episode of ABC’s The Bachelorette and the second one where Hannah goes on dates. Chris Harrison recaps the rose ceremony and gives out the first date card of the episode. 

Group Date 1: Jonathan, Matteo, John Paul Jones, Kevin, Jed, Tyler C, Mike and Cam are on this date with the clue ‘let’s push our love to the limit.’

Jason Biggs and his wife Jenny Mullen are there pretending to have her give birth. I cannot take this seriously because I can only picture him as Jim from American Pie. After they take a jab at Colton, (who isn’t even there, so it’s kind of old meme now), they do a quiz about the female anatomy. They also wear pregnancy bellies, take care of fake babies (Baby Think It Over? Anyone have to do that in school?) and do an exercise where they stimulate labor. They also put clothes pins on their nipples….for….I have no clue.

I almost died when JPJ pretended to be in labor. That was epic. 

Afterward, they have an after party where they all spend time with Hannah. Cam and Jed toss chicken nuggets off the roof, because why not? Cam swears to have more time with her and will stop at nothing to get it. 

Mike talks about losing his baby with an ex and gets emotional. He tries to tell his story, but Cam is hanging around. He finally tells him to go away. When he is done with his time with Hannah, he tells the guys about Cam.  

Cam finally gets his time and talks about quitting his job for the show and won’t let anyone get in the way. 

Jonathan interrupts and won’t let Cam finish. He says it is karma. Cam goes to complain to JPJ and claims he was the bigger man who walked away. 

There is a lot of tension in the room….then the guys…..eat chicken nuggets? Is some chicken nugget franchise endorsing this season? There seems to be a lot of mentions of the fast food favorite….and now for the second week in a row, I want chicken nuggets. 

Mike gets the rose.

One on One: Connor is on this date. However, Hannah gets sick and he goes to see her in her hotel room. He even brings her flowers, soup and a card. It turns out she was in the hospital and needed fluids. they talk about life, how his mom had a stroke when he was a kid and how it made him into a stronger person. He also leaves her notes, which is cute. 

At the house, Luke P declares he should be there with her instead of Connor. I’m actually so bored during this episode that I got excited to find a hidden pineapple. (Psych fans would appreciate this.)

Connor is back at the house talking to the guys when some dude who looks like an FBI Men in Black love child comes to take him for the second part of the date. She gives him a rose and they see a random concert.

Demi is back to spy? SWEET!

Tyler G is gone? HUH? Did I miss something when I was busy playing find the hidden pineapple? 

Group Date 2: I’m not sure who is on this because apparently we skipped a LOT. What happened to Tyler G? We never even got the third date announcement. WTF?

Anyway, these guys are modeling with animals. It’s actually kind of cute and sweet. It is based on the Secret Life of Pets 2. 

As the guys are getting ready, Demi is there to spy on them. Demi should go into the FBI at this point. Her friends are undercover as makeup artists and animal handlers. We learn that the guys are actually decent or really good actors. 

The photo shoot is adorable. Hannah is dressed like a Real Housewife and Luke pouts over her kissing other guys. There are more photos and then it is time for the cocktail party.

Hannah tells Luke P he is moving too fast and being disrespectful. He goes to pout and sulk to the other guys. This eventually leads to him fighting with the other guys over time with Hannah. She even tells him again to calm down so she can get time with everyone. 

She ends up giving Luke P a talking to before giving Peter the rose. 

Before the rose ceremony, the guys have a tailgate. Cam (Always Be Cam!) plans to tell Hannah a story to try to get a rose. He tells the guy his plan, which does not make them happy. 

The story is about him getting sick and needing an amputation. He also lost his grandma and puppy during all this. I feel bad for him, but what?

However, Mike tells Hannah he told the story to get a pity rose. She calls Cam out on it and tells him his behavior was grimy. He was also writing letters to the guys and I am so confused. WTF with this entire episode?

Rose Ceremony:

Mike, Peter and Connor all have roses.

Jed (the singer)

Tyler (the Tyler who didn’t get kicked out)

Dustin (who?)

Dylan (no clue)

Grant (unemployed dude)

Luke P (public enemy #2)

Garrett (sweater vest dude)

John Paul Jones (cried during labor)

Matteo (has he said a word in the entire time he was here?)

Devin (no clue, but he is HOT)

Luke S (I kind of forgot there was another Luke)

Final rose:

Kevin (the one who was dragged into chicken nugget gate last week)

Eliminated:

Jonathan (pizza guy)

Cam (public enemy #1)

Joey (hot random dude who probably showed up for this rose ceremony)

Off topic, I need her lipstick because it is awesome. 

More next week, stay tuned. 

        

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