‘You can’t handle the truth!’ Of course, we are all familiar with this famous movie quote. It is also often used in real life when people make certain assumptions, which is the topic of today’s post and tonight’s Grapevine In High Heels broadcast.
Growing up, I have always had a sensitive side. While I consider myself to be a resilient person, I am also the type to wear my heart on my sleeve and take certain things to heart. (As an adult, I have gotten better at this, but get upset and hurt when lied to or if I am being disrespected) I admit to being a crier and emotional, so people assume I cannot handle the truth and lie to spare my feelings. (For the record, when I feel I am being disrespected or hurt, I let people know. I may not always go about it the right way, but believe me, you do know!)
What people fail to realize is that THE LYING is what hurts more than telling me the truth that might hurt me in the short term. Examples include: significant others cheating or wanting different things in the relationship, making mistakes, pretending to be a friend etc. (Not saying these did or did not happen to me, but they are examples of what people often lie about.) All of these things hurt. What hurts more is lying about them. Yes, we will be angry if these things happen and might cry, be upset etc, but we will be even angrier if you lie about it and we find out.
99.9% of the time, people will be LESS angry if you tell them the truth in the first place. Are you afraid the truth may hurt someone? OWN YOUR MISTAKE OR ISSUE. Preface it with ‘I know you might be mad, but (insert issue here.)’ Lying or pretending and then saying ‘I didn’t think you could handle the truth/I didn’t want to hurt you,’ is selfish and shows you don’t have the person’s best interests or feelings at heart. Think about how you would react if the roles were reversed. Would you like it happening to you? NO? Then don’t do it to others.
The point is, the truth may hurt sometimes, but it is better than lying, which often makes things worse. Think about that before you try and ‘spare someone’s feelings.’
On another note, this is not a free pass to hurt someone, you can tell the truth in a respectful manner without being rude. However, that is a post for another day.